Tales of the Logistician’s Logistician: Calendar Girl

previously-at-the-lol
Clicky for the joy of abseiling

Recently I joined Arse-about-Facebook and was pleasantly surprised to see that a former colleague had added photos of what had been a little project I’d managed at the start of the 21st Century: The Staff Calendar. Having newly joined the company, it proved to be an excellent way to find out the full extent of the services offered to clients, and some of the faces that implemented those services and ensured their smooth running.

It started one day as I sat behind Big Boss’s desk. He was out and about, as was his norm, so I taken the opportunity to eat my lunch in his cool, dark office. I was searching for some scrap paper to catch the salady drips that escaped my ham salad sarnie (extra onion, extra mayo) when I realised that the page I’d scavenged wasn’t scrap at all. It contained several hand-drawn, rough sketches with interesting punny titles: ‘Reservoir Bogs’; ‘Lock Stock & Two Smoking Vaccums’; ‘Not Everything in Black & White is Read’ and ‘You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Skip’.

I wiped the crumbs and sandwich filling gloop from the page as best I could, and after I’d finished eating took it back to my own desk, where I filed it in my ‘Bring Forward’ system so that I could ask Big Boss about it the next time he ventured in.

“Oh, it’s just some ideas I’ve had for a staff calendar,” he said when I asked him about it a week later. “I think it would be a fun way of marketing what we do that includes the staff.”

I agreed and twenty minutes later, we’d thought up half a dozen more ideas. Big Boss’s face, which had looked tired and pinched on arrival at the office that morning, now looked light and boyish. He instructed me to find a graphic design company that could advise us on feasibility and cost, before he set out again for an afternoon with clients and potential clients in back-to-back meetings.

Coincidentally, the graphic design company I’d selected had been the recipient of high praise at a social gathering Big Boss had attended the evening before I met with him to give him an update on my search. I hadn’t heard of synchronicity then, but he gave me the go ahead to get the calendar made.

Over the next couple of months I worked with Big Boss and the graphic design company to refine the images, buy props and hire costumes, prep staff members to be involved and then get them to the studio for photography, hold their clothing, not peek when asked not too, make the teas and coffees, and then select the best images for inclusion, layout of each page and quality of the paper it would be printed on.

“We should have a party to launch the calendar,” Big Boss decreed after the first nude photo shoot, obviously buoyed up with the way it was going. “Invite the staff and clients.”

“And client secretaries,” I suggested. “They’ll be the ones that receive the calendars first and dish them out.”

He liked that idea. “Tate Modern owes us a favour or two, I’ll get us room there for the evening.” Big Boss could be quite persuasive.

And so, organising the launch party, sending invites, creating a presentation and buy thoughtful gifts to say ‘thank you’ to the staff involved was added to my list of things to do. Thoughtful Man helped me select and obtain the music that would accompany the revealing of each image in an animated Powerpoint show. I’d barely used Powerpoint before, let alone animate anything with it; it was a learning curve that held me in good stead for the rest of my career there.

I didn’t compère the show – Big Boss did that; he’s an extremely accomplished public speaker. I ran the slide show and cued the music. The evening was a great success.

We had 13 months in our calendar; when you work in logistics you tend to plan just a little bit ahead… Clicky on each image to hear the accompanying Song 😉

january-lock-stock

february-thinker

march-thunderbirds

april-saving-bryan

may-the-fourth

june-tennis

july-reservoir-bogs

august-jaws

september-star-trek

october-twins

november-black-white-read

december-usual-suspects

january-727

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23 thoughts on “Tales of the Logistician’s Logistician: Calendar Girl

  1. RooB probably had this printed out & pinned to her noticeboard. However, for the benefit of other readers – particularly those from overseas, here’s the esteem held by squaddies for those in logistics ….

    https://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Royal_Logistic_Corps

    The Royal Logistic Corps (RLC):
    Right Lovely Crowd
    Right Load of Cobblers
    Rags Lorries & Curries
    Really Large Corps
    Paramilitary wing of Eddie Stobart
    REME Luggage Carriers
    Rejects Last Chance
    Retard’s Lone Choice
    Real Lesbian Corps
    Really Lazy Corps
    Rickshaws Cabs and Taxis (Royal Corps of Transport)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😀 All the different parts of the British armed forces are extremely good keeping each other grounded (and that’s not a dig at Crab Air)…

      *Crikey! It’s a wonder I managed to stay in logistics for as long as I did, Clicky…*

      Liked by 1 person


      1. Crazy bitches be crazy.


        Hot and crazy.


        Just like I like em.


        Nothing to see here. Move along citizen(s). Move along.
        ❤ c ⅄ a ❤

        Liked by 2 people

          1. For the record…I like yours better…and not because I’m prejudiced! Your font stands out (the plain text says this book is extraordinarily b-o-r-i-n-g). I mean…who’s doesn’t judge a book by its cover…and especially with a cover like yous? It makes a bold statement and invites readers in. ❤

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Oh thanks Jen, but I think the Underdog is right – less is more. Plus my designs might be more appealing to children and they really shouldn’t be reading this book, what with all the sex and violence and horror contained within… It could cause irreparable damage… to their parents 😉

              Still he don’t mind me making up my own promotional stuff, so I might be able to lure a few of the little blighters in 😉

              Liked by 1 person

              1. You said sex, violence, and horror? Now I can’t hardly wait to read it!

                Anyway, I wish him, and all involved, great success! 🙂

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Thanks JenEus ❤

                  I've read all the stories and they are bloody excellent. In fact there is a character in one story (not one of mine) that knocks the likes of Katniss Everdene into a cocked hat. Girls should be allowed to read it just for her 😉

                  Like

          1. Um…I just responded to you over at whatchacallitforums.calm, and there is a picture that I hand drew in MS Paint. It may change your mind about even contemplating having me do anything of a graphic nature ever again, irrespective of who it’s for. 😛

            Liked by 1 person

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