“Come and have a look at this!” chortled Thoughtful Man from across the room. I looked up, for I was bending over, having an interesting rummage though the programmes delivered last week. I was looking for one in particular. “Hmm?”
“You’ve got to see this”. He sounded excited, which doesn’t happen often, so best not avoided. Fortunately I’d found what I was looking for. Rising, I turned to see him leering and pointing at Elsa, the LoL computer. “It’s an old advert for WD-40”. “That can’t be real”. I said wiping a tear of mirth from my eye. As funny as it was, it couldn’t possibly be real.
“I shouldn’t think so. It’s on the internet.” He winked at me. “Although WD-40 was originally from ‘The Rocket Chemical Company’.” He winked again. Genuine or not, it had put him in a good mood. “And what were you looking for?” he said jovially, plucking the battered programme I was clutching from my hand. “I don’t remember this one. Which one was this?” He thumbed through the pages before handing it back. “It was the one with the willy.” He stared back at me blankly. “Frankie and Benny” I continued but nothing was clicking except maybe confusion; I’d forgotten about our local bistro.
I explained that I’d just watched the Graham Norton show, which had featured Stephen Merchant promoting his new play, ‘The Mentalists’. He would have to get nude on stage and we’d seen extremely funny, dare I say ‘flapping’, nudity when we’d gone to see ‘Dead Funny’.
He looked at me knowingly. “Trust you to remember that”. “The funniest thing is that I saw the actor, David Haig, sometime after at London Bridge station, during rush hour.” I paused as a look of horror crossed his face. “Stood right next to him actually.”
“What? Compliment him on the acting abilities of his willy?” I smiled sweetly. Thoughtful Man shook his head, covered his eyes and sighed. Deeply. “Would I do something as crass as that?”.
I couldn’t see the squint but it was definitely there, behind his fingers. “I wouldn’t put anything past you woman.” He turned back to Elsa and started clicking. “Have a song”.